I’m Writing a Novel!

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I’ve wanted to write a novel for a long time. When I was a child I would write stories on scraps of paper, read them and throw them in the bin never thinking they were good enough. I never told anyone about it either, just a handful of people I know who are close to me.

I’m now at a point in my life where I want to revive that childhood dream and actually write a novel and become a published writer.

I’ve been writing on this blog since last year in August and again I’ve never gone public with my family and Facebook friends officially but I guess that’s what I’m doing now.

I’m new, I get that I may not be the best writer as English wasn’t my strongest point at school but I’m writing and loving it. Surely that is what matters right?

So I guess this is it for me going public!

I really hope I can count on everyone with their support and will follow my journey!

My Facebook author page… 

https://www.facebook.com/authormadisonward/

Thank you

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Daily Prompt – Time

 

So I was a little stumped for a post and thought I would go to the daily prompt for inspiration for today’s post! When I realised what today’s prompt was, I have to say I was pleased! It actually gives a reason to go over past issues I’ve had when I was growing up and hurtful comments I had while at school!

 

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I arrive at school on a normal day wondering what today will bring. The morning was the start to a new week and the class were already sat in their seats. The room was noisy so with my head down I walked to the back of the class and sat at the empty space at the table.

I was only around 9 years old but already aware I wasn’t one of the popular girls. I was just me, with a few friends that hung around together. My best friend at the time was Gail, a new girl that had come to start at our school. When she first started I was so relieved that I had a friend who I could be best friends with. We immediately connected and became fast friends pretty quickly. I offered my seat for her to sit with me, I had no-one else to sit with.

I always remember that the kids were cruel. It became pretty obvious that I wasn’t going to be one of the popular crowd. I was just a normal girl that blended into the class. No-one special just me, youngest of the family of sisters brothers and half siblings. I wouldn’t say I was bullied, I just never felt accepted as part of the in the crowd. They all talked to me, they weren’t cruel just the odd comment that hurt.

I have almond shaped eyes and of course at an age where comments about your looks would make you feel very self-conscious you wouldn’t want to feel an outsider. Hurtful comments like ‘chinky’ as I often got called were soul destroying when you thought you were different but in reality, I was only called this a couple of times but its something I’ve always remembered.

I’m now a ‘grown-up” and although these comments affected me then. I wish I knew what I know now. I’ve since discovered that several people were jealous of my eyes. Ridiculous really when I think of all the taunting they did. My Mum, the wonderful lady that she was, always said to me,  “Darling, they only say those things because they’re jealous. They wish they had beautiful eyes like you. Don’t shy from them darling. Embrace them.”  Obviously, my reply was “Shut up Mum! They’re not jealous! They hate me.” I wish I could tell my Mum now that I know she was right. I’d give anything to say to her. “Thank you, Mum.” Most of all want to thank her.

She was a special lady to everyone who knew her. She would go out of her way to help people, be an ear to listen and be there for the joys and tribulations. She was there for anyone who needed her, whether they were there for her or not.

So you are probably wondering how this blog post falls into the word prompt of time. That is the most magical thing about my Mum. She always had time. She would make time for people, her children, family and friends. I think in the fast paced world we live in now we should all remember that we should always make time for people. Listen when someone wants to talk. Stop and slow down because before you know it, time will pass you by and the ones that were always there for you won’t be anymore. I love my parents so much and every day hurts. Take the time and ask someone special in your life how they are. Be the ear that they may need and listen to them too.

 

Madison

Flash Fiction – The Stranger

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The feeling of unease is intense as I walk along hiding in the shadows of trees. The noise is there just behind me beating amongst the rain as it pelts hard against my skin. Footsteps, gaining on me, getting louder and echoing in my mind causing panic as I imagine the terror the other girls have felt before me. Forgetting my umbrella was the first mistake I made as I left in a rush. The second mistake was leaving my phone. The phone that right now could save me from the fate I’m up against.

I begin to quicken my pace as my heart beat thumps against my chest. I feel the cold against my skin as I can hear the slow rumble of thunder in the distance and count the seconds between the flash and crash of the storm.As I glance behind me he is still there, with his head bent forward, his fast walking pace shortens the gap between us. His form looms over me as I make my feet walk faster.

I look around for an open shop, but at this time of the night I’m unlucky, the street is dark and being so late, even pubs have long closed. I walk quickly to get to a safe place. As I turn the corner, up ahead I see the Tesco Extra and feel overpowered with relief as I see the lights on and someone dash inside. I begin to run as the heavens open and torrential rain beats down on my body making my sheer silk dress transparent. I feel the tension begin to slip, knowing I can get away from the stranger who has followed me for the last half a mile. Looking behind me again I see the stranger has begun to run too. My panic rising I feel my breathing quicken and my chest tightens as a panic attack threatens to challenge my escape.

I run faster and as I slip inside the shop, glancing over my shoulder, his shadow catches up and envelopes me as he follows me inside. Tensing as I wait for the attack, he bumps into me and apologises. “Sorry love, awful weather out there!” I lean against the drinks cabinet and sigh as I try to catch my breath again, realising he was heading here all along and is not the serial killer everyone’s trying to catch!

The Silent Destroyer!

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I went through a period of my life a few years ago where I got totally sucked in! Sucked into the life of gossip! Something I never was or had been but something I had become.

‘Don’t be a Bitch Witch’ … It’s a saying that I’ve used in recent months where I look back to times where I got sucked into a comedy coven of hatred!

How did I get sucked in? … I was working in a lonely job, you make a friend and they become a saviour to your life and suddenly your good friends! You make a friend through work, at the gym and the good ole’ mummy friends.

The gossiping became a slow progression from the odd comment about something you had heard and passed on to a  couple of years later and you’re a totally different person you once were. This is where you take a step back. Once you realised after a few weeks that you are no longer the person you were,  you do the drastic thing of separating yourself from that life.

I’ve always been a kind, generous person and all always help people but when I stepped back I saw so many things I didn’t like and ways in which I was used and treated that you kind of feel detached from it. Like it wasn’t me it happened to. Some people can become so disillusioned that they don’t even realise they are the person that made you who you are today. Realise it and do something. Don’t be the person that is always taken from but when you need someone to be there for you, your left on your own. This was the heartbreaking thing for me. That I was always there for others but they were there when I really needed them. One friend was and I am very grateful for her friendship at the time.

How did I not see what I was turning into?  The fact is you don’t see until your connection with that person is broken. It’s not that I was desperate for friends because I wasn’t. I have plenty of friends who I’m close to who even after years of not seeing them is still there as if time was frozen! I much prefer to circulate in small groups but there are always those people who give off a persona that people want to like and once you get sucked in you don’t see it.

After the ‘separation’ due to health issues you then go through the whole drama of the gossiping about you. You find out people have assumed you have fallen out, not talking or don’t meet up anymore when in fact it is probable that due to health reasons it wasn’t possible to meet in those situations anymore.

These people then assume you’re avoiding them when in fact it’s just life or your health has changed. The way people treat you most certainly affects the way you deal with day to day life. Everything changes when your health deteriorates. Everything becomes much harder and when your friends are not there, it hurts! The friends you once had now become acquaintances or someone you once knew. They ‘think’ they know why you no longer meet up but never actually ask why. They discuss and make up their own minds for themselves without actually doing the decent thing and ask. If you are in this position and have a friend who has become distant, do the right thing and ask. You never know what personal demons someone is dealing with that can change the way they interact with people.

My advice to you! If you feel uncomfortable by something a friend says and you’re not in a position to tell them the truth without them totally flipping on you, don’t tell them! Don’t tell them personal details of your life! Share less and don’t tell them things you wouldn’t want your enemy knowing … you can sure as hell guarantee they will break your confidence!

Then there are the friends who make you see sense, they are the ones that are there when you need them. They are there when you are at your lowest point with anxiety and health problems. They are the ones to trust!

So what is the silent destroyer? It is ‘The untold truth!’

 

Madison

NaNoWriMo | Halfway There!

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This month has been a challenge, to say the least. With my novel slowly taking shape and new plot twists are in abundance, I’ve realised how very unprepared I was for this month. The plan I had in place for what I would write was probably a waste of time as all the planning, plots and research I did have been abandoned as my characters have totally changed the route of the story. Where my main character was a good girl, she no longer is. She isn’t the little good girl I had hoped her to be but is, in fact, a real badass!

I like where my story is going … I still have a word count to work on as I’m not as far along as I would like but the hope of a day to write tomorrow looms and I will catch up and be on target!

For now my fellow Nano Friends!

Keep Calm and Write on …